Ahhhh…April. It’s that time of year in Minnesota where good ole’ cabin fever is at its peak. For our warmer climate Skittle-readers, cabin fever is an acute restlessness that sets in after many months of being cooped inside from the harsh winters. The affected may dream about green grass, blue skies, and sleeping with the window open. A healthy dose of sunshine and playing outside are the only cures to shake a northerner free from this affliction.

And when Minnesotans want to get outside, we play golf. According to www.golf.com, Minnesota has more golfers per capita than any other state. Approximately one out of every five “Sotans” bust out the clubs every April. Minnesota is also the only state to have hosted every championship that the United States Golf Association (USGA) runs. And why would a snow-trodden, lake-bed, irritable-weathered state have such an obsession with a game that celebrates nature’s greenery and sunny skies? You guessed it- cabin fever. By the time our favorite greens are inviting our dimpled ball to the flag, we’re desperately craving sunlight and fresh air. We inundate the courses wearing shorts and sweatshirts in weather that would put a southerner in a parka. The open greens serve as the perfect venue to stroll and chat about business or weather.

During one of my cabin fever daydreams, I started thinking about how my preferred genre of videogame, the shooter, bears striking resemblance to my spring sport of choice. Maybe a videogaming golfer isn’t so strange after all?

Favorites

Every player has their favorite maps and weapons or courses and clubs. Sneaking through the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare (CoD4) farmhouse in the map Overgrown with my P90 always brings a smile to my face. And that first hole where I came within inches of an Ace with my 6-iron at my local club always brews hope as I walk up to the tee. Gamers play shooters a little differently and enjoy the game more when they know the maps – the nooks and crannies, the spawn-camping spots, the perfect vantage points. And golfers gain a little confidence when they can know the hills, the sand-traps and water hazards. Familiarity breeds expertise and comfort.

The Code

There’s a long list of official and unwritten rules that you abide by for the camaraderie and betterment of the game. Don’t steal my kill and don’t walk on my line. Tell everyone “good game” and have a cold one at the 19th hole. Respect the game. Past that camaraderie, golfing in particular, is often an extension of business. Many contracts are negotiated and long-lasting relationships made on the links these days. Keen business people observe their peers on the course – not for style and skill, but for integrity. The player that marks their ball improperly or doesn’t count a stroke is often reputed to lack integrity in business. Now business may not be conducted in Halo 3– yet. But how many cheaters do you keep on your friends list?

Mastery

Both games, within their respective field of sports and video games, are the hardest to master. Kickball and Super Mario Brothers of days past are baby games compared to sand traps, water hazards, expert strafing, and strategy. Expert snipers hone their skills for hours and Tiger Woods employs an entire staff to perfect his swing. In spirit of the difficulty of each sport, sometimes it’s advisable for your mental health to submit to “playing for fun”.

The Hook

Both games have the unique ability to frustrate any player to no end. After the umpteenth spawn kill or embarrassing drive into the adjacent fairway, it becomes inviting to throw in the towel. But then it happens…a gorgeous no-scope head shot or an unexpected birdie and you’re back in the game; you’re hooked and pushing for that next sweet victory. Fleeting moments of greatness keep you coming back to a game that, much of the time, causes otherwise upstanding citizens to possibly curse, yell, or generally act out of character.

Fundamentals

The first rule of golf is the same first rule in shooters. Keep your head down! Nobody likes a mulligan and nobody likes to lose their head.

Pwnage

The level of bragging for a good shot tends to be indirectly proportional to the player’s skill level, but equally annoying. “On the dance floor baby!” cries the golfer that hits the green from the tee shot. But then sadly, they three-putt to a bogey. The second you open your mouth about your uber-7337 skillz pwning noobs, you arrive in the re-spawn room. Both games are better played with a little modesty and class.

Couch Couture

Golf has a notorious reputation for ugly attire - checkered shorts, pink polo shirts, weird looking shoes, and black socks on legs that force bystanders to wear sunglasses. The only reason shooters don’t have the same reputation is that we hide within XBL in the comforts of our living room. Imagine all the sweatpant and Snoopy-slipper clad warriors out there.

Spotlights

The first tee-box at most courses put the golfer right in front of the clubhouse where everyone is waiting…and watching you. Sometimes your tee-shot is a beauty and you strut, sometimes it’s embarrassing and you slink away as quickly as possible blaming anything and anyone but yourself. The first tee of golf is the observe mode of a shooter. When you know you’re the eminent player and all eyes are on you, performance anxiety can push you to run the flag to victory or paralyze you into a failure in the spotlight. And just like golf, if you do fail – you must blame anything and anyone but yourself (lag, reloading, glitcher/cheater/modders).

Flying Objects

Little explanation is necessary here. Sometimes things get thrown. For the record, I’ve thrown a golf club twice. I personally would say I “tossed” the club and the club had it coming. I’ve never thrown a controller yet; but oh, have I wanted to.

Thinking about golf and looking out the window to the slushy, snow-covered earth, I can almost smell the green grass. But alas, I still have a few weeks of stifling cabin fever. Lucky for me, a little Gears of War and CoD4 is just the trick to avert the restlessness and make it a few more weeks inside. And when the sun finally makes its way to Minnesota and greens the grass, I’ll see the silver-haired men in their checkered shorts and recognize that they’re not that different from me and the hoodie-sportin generation of gamers that I identify with. We love the competition, abide by a similar set of cultural beliefs and behaviors, and sometimes wear ugly pants.

It’s only a matter of time before I shoot birdies by day and heads by night.